Mā te whakarongo, ka mōhio; mā te mōhio, ka mārama. Through listening comes knowledge; through knowledge comes understanding.
Kia Ora Whānau
I attended a workshop recently called ‘Working Together to Measure What Matters‘. I went expecting to learn more about evaluation, data and how organisations measure whether what they are doing is making a difference.
I did learn about those things. But surprisingly, they weren’t what stayed with me.
What stayed with me were the stories.
At the beginning of the day, there were people in the room from many different backgrounds and professional roles. Some worked in leadership, government, policy and community organisations. As conversations began, I noticed how easily we can sometimes speak from our positions, explaining what we do, how systems operate and why certain processes exist.
And I kept finding myself asking one simple question:
Why?
Not to challenge anyone, but because I genuinely wanted to understand.
Something began to change.
People started listening differently. Titles seemed less important. Conversations became more personal. One leader openly shared a story about a time when she realised that something wasn’t working because she hadn’t truly listened to the people she was trying to support.
That honesty stayed with me.
It reminded me that behind every survey response, every piece of data and every policy is a person with a story.
Then we can bring it back to dementia and your own caring journey:
Caring for someone living with dementia has taught me much the same lesson.
We can know the diagnosis. We can understand the symptoms. We can read the research and develop policies and services.
But if we don’t stop and ask the person and their family, “What matters to you?”, we may still miss what matters most.
As my own caring journey continues to change, I am reminded that listening is not something we do once. What mattered yesterday may not be what matters today. Dementia changes, relationships change, and the support a family needs changes with them.
This is something I want to carry forward through Caring Spirits | Wairua Manaaki.
Before programs, before workshops, before services : Listen.
Listen to carers.
Listen to whānau.
Listen to people living with dementia.
Listen to communities.
And perhaps most importantly, be prepared for what we hear to change what we were planning to do.
I went to a workshop to learn how to measure what matters.
I came home thinking much more deeply about who gets to decide what matters in the first place.
Perhaps the answer begins with something very simple.
Ask. Listen. Share stories. And be willing to change.
Nāu te rourou, nāku te rourou, ka ora ai te iwi.
With your food basket and my food basket, the people will thrive.
May we listen with open hearts, honour the stories entrusted to us, and remember that every voice carries a thread of wisdom.
When we weave those threads together, we create understanding, connection and belonging.
